|
New
Orleans
Secular Humanist Association |
|
THE OUTING OF JOSEPH AND THE VIRGIN LARRY By William Sierichs Jr. Thanks to the miracle of modern science and the miracle of the "weeping Madonna" in Civitavecchia, Italy, we now know the REAL miracle of Jesus' birth. Several Madonna statues in Italy have been found to weep blood. A bishop, Girolamo Grillo, claims one particular statue wept blood into his hands. The Madonna's timing was most unfortunate, since it occurred in an age when blood tests can give us a lot of information about the source, including its sex. The Madonna, it seems, is a MAN. In other words, "Mary" was a transvestite, so Joseph must have been ... you know. Which means that Jesus was not born of Mary. She ... er, he just was not equipped for that sort of thing. Obviously, a real miracle occurred in that Bethlehem stable. And if homosexuality is genetic in origin, that might explain why Jesus had an affair with Lazarus - "naked man with naked man," as Carpocrates reported to his fellow Christians. The truth about Jesus was hidden by the church, until a letter was found from Clement of Alexandria to Theodore which describes the Secret Gospel of Mark, quoted by Carpocrates. This gospel had "outed" Jesus. Clement denied Carpocrates' story, but we know better now. Like fathers like son. By the way, Bishop Grillo subsequently backtracked his story of the Madonna statue bleeding in his hands and said, in an April 9, 1995, Associated Press story, that "I never talked about a miracle," and that believers might discover "it was all a hoax." Too late, Girolamo, the truth has been outed about Joseph and the Virgin Mary, better known now as the Virgin Larry. The Gay Couple surely are Up There, sitting around talking to that other famous Gay Couple, Adam and Steve. You'd think that Christians, instead of being so virulently nasty toward gays, would welcome them as the true imitators of Jesus. Perhaps Christians are just jealous that they were born with the wrong sexual orientation, since they can never be like their Master or his mother... uh, father, the Virgin Larry. Maybe that's also why Christian fundamentalists hate science. It let their secret out of the closet.
|
|
Home |
|
Contact
Info: Website
comments: |
